DOAKS

Just got off the telephone with my grandmother in Montreal. FYI, this is my Bubby that was famous on YouTube. Article.

Anyways, my grandmother thinks that Obama, who reminds her of Frank Sinatra, will choose Al Gore as a running mate. She feels this will give Obama an edge over McCain.

My Bubby does not have a computer. In fact, her first question about VanityKippah.com was “how many people are calling the site?”. Kid you not. Still, Drudge is running an Obama VP poll and the highest percentage of votes is for ” wildcard”. Gore’s name is not on the list of choice. But he fits right into the wildcard category.

Here’s a true story about my grandmother; she once mentioned to me that my uncle’s interest was piqued by a woman in her building. I thought my Bubby had lost her mind. A year lady, my uncle married this woman.

Cool fact: my grandmother was a classmate with Henry Kissinger in Furth, Germany.

Last night, with two friends, I went to see the new Woody Allen movie, Vicky Cristina Barcelona. The short review; Woody Allen is back. The movie was great. In fact, I almost titled this very post “The Return of My Woody”.

The longer review. Woody Allen does not act in this movie. That’s a good thing. Instead, his skills are used for the writing and directing the film. A decision that paid off big time.

I don’t want to spoil the movie for you. The movie takes place in Spain. It’s a romantic comedy with dysfunctional characters, including the angelic Scarlet Johansen. Penelope Cruz is fantastic as a deranged and passionate lover. Javier Bardem, the psycho from No Country for Old Men is just as convincing and enthralling in his latest role as a seductive Spaniard.

Rebecca Hall is so freaking cute.

I enjoyed the whole thing. One of my friends fell asleep and I had to force the second moron not to leave in middle for a nicotine break. This is a superb date movie not to be seen with boorish male pals.

The characters in Vicky Cristina Barcelona are rich and chiseled, as opposed to the typical shallow screen characters. It almost felt like I was reading a book.

Here’s the movie trailer:

Good Tuesday. Last week, on Wednesday morning at the Radnor Hotel in Philadelphia, there was a breakfast honoring Eric Cantor. Cantor as you may have heard, is a potential VP candidate for John McCain. At some point during the breakfast, Eric Cantor endorsed the McCippah. No speech was necessary. He wore it on his head and that trumps any speech.

This Kippah-Kodak Moment was reported on in the Seattle Times, the Seattle PI and uber-political blog Politico.

Cantor is wearing the Kippah, though it is hard to spot due to his great head of potential VP hair!

Here are the pics from the party, thanks to Judy Davidson!

Rep. Eric Cantor (R-VA) and Myles Tannenbaum, leader of the Republican Jewish Chapter in PA

US Congressman Jim Gerlach on the right, Candidate Craig Williams on the left

Craig Williams and Scott Feigelstein, leader of Republican Jewish Chapter in PA

P.S. If you know of other political events taking place, especially Democratic, please let me know (info at vanitykippah dot com). I’d be happy to sponsor Obama Kippahs!

After being the bearer of bad news and breaking the hearts of Jewish girls across the world by announcing that Michael Phelps is not a Yid, I bring good tidings. Dara Torres, female Olympic Swimmer, is Jewish. And, she has a child, which makes her a certified Yiddishe Mameh.

According to this NY Times article: her father was Jewish, and Dara converted before marrying Itzhak Shasha, an Israeli surgeon.

This is definitely good for the Jews in some way. In fact, if I had to choose between the two, I’d pick Torres over Phelps.

Here’s one reason why:

A possible captions for this photo:

“The solution to Intermarriage”

Btw, did you know that Marilyn Monroe also converted to Judaism?

Here’s the conversion document from The Smoking Gun:

The Kippah in Seattle is in a rarity competition with the sunshine. That’s how seldom I see a Kippah. Not that I am complaining. Giggles.

I am not sure what has lower odds of existing in Seattle, a Kippah sighting OR a pro-Bush bumper sticker. It’s a toss-up.

This following story will further prove this point.

The local Jewish paper is the JTNews. On Friday of last week, I did a Google Blog search for the word “kippah“. I come across a blog post written by Joel Magalnick, editor of the JTNews. So I begin reading: I was driving near University Village yesterday and waiting at a stoplight next to a couple guys in an Acura, both wearing kippot. The driver’s kippah was white leather with an Obama logo on it….

My initial reaction was one of joy. Sweet! Someone was wearing an Obamica, no doubt purchased from my site. Then a new sensation overcame me. One of those “I’m such an idiot” sensations. Because I drive an Acura and was driving in the University Village with a friend, while wearing the Obamica on my head!

So, it is small Kippah world in Seattle. Indeed. Here’s video proof that I drive an Acura.

Here’s the other irony, other than the irony of the Jewish editor spotting me wearing an Obamica; Joel writes the following: You’re wearing kippot because you’re Orthodox, but by publicly and openly expressing your support for a Democratic candidate, you’re blowing away that (recent) stereotype that the Orthodox are all conservative and wouldn’t touch a liberal in the Oval Office, particularly with all the ridiculous rhetoric surrounding Obama and his religious/Israel beliefs.

Cough. Cough.

First off, I do not yet know who I am voting for. As previously stated, I alternate between the McCippah and Obamica.

Second, I am Orthodox. And I have openly expressed my disgust about the falsities being circulated about Obama. In fact, Daily Kos even linked to a post of mine last week.

Three, Joel, while attempting to write about the “blowing away of a stereotype” (that Orthodox Jews are all conservatives), managed to reinforce another stereotype: namely, that all Jewish Editors are blatantly liberal. Hehe.

Good Monday. It’s raining in Seattle. For those who do not live here, that sounds like an obvious statement. It’s not. The summers here are gorgeous. And now, with the weather report out of the way, we can proceed to other titillating news.

Last week, I blogged about the plethora of circumstantial evidence that proves that Michael Phelps does not celebrate Passover. Fine. End of story. A chuckle here. A chuckle there.

But not. The saga continues.

Check this out; on Saturday night, Phelps wins his 8th gold medal. Then, on Sunday, I check my site traffic and notice that visitors are reaching my site by searching “is michael phelps jewish“. More traffic is coming to the site today, again, from the search term “is michael phelps jewish”.

If you search on Google, this Yahoo Answer ranks high. My traffic is coming from MSN and Live Search.

Here’s what cracks me up; why did Phelps need to win his EIGHTH Gold for people to start wondering if he was Jewish? Was 4, 5, 6, 7 gold medals not enough of a feat to be curious about his religion? Why did these search queries only begin AFTER his 8th Gold?

I wonder who is searching for this information. (Google Analytics only identifies what browser the user is on…not his/her religious orientations. Knowing Google, this info will probably be available in the nest year or so.)

Two types of folks are searching for this information, though my money is on the first:

1) Jewish people desperately clinging to the hope that Phelps is indeed Jewish. Why? Because that would be good for the Jews and maybe even bring out peace in the Middle East. In fact, if Phelps was Jewish, there is not doubt that he’d be in the running to be the Messiah. White donkey. White speedo. All the same.

2) The paranoid non-Jew, suspicious of all the Jews in power. Just a little fact-checking to make sure the latest American Hero isn’t Semitic!

Anyways, for the Jewish readers of this blog; yes, Spitz was Jewish and Phelps is not. And Phelps just broke Spitz’s record. BUT, that does NOT make Phelps an anti-Semite.

On Friday, the American Thinker published an article titled “Another Worrisome Sign for Obama“. The point of the article was based on the Kippah Polls, where the McCippah has taken a significant lead over the Obama Kippah.

Today, I present another statistic in terms of Jewish voters.

On Facebook, there are many types of Obama/McCain pages. Among them are the “Jews for Obama” and the “Jews for McCain” groups.

To date, the Jews for Obama group has 3179 members. The Jews for McCain group has a paltry 785 participants. That’s 80% to 20% lead for the Jews for Obama group.

Like much of the online campaigning, the Obama camps seems much more adept and proactive. Notice how the Jews for Obama group was organized by someone working for the Obama campaign, while the McCain group was created by a McCain supporter not working for the campaign.

Also, it should be mentioned that there are two groups called “Jews Against Obama“, with 1002 and 267 members (dis)respectively. Even assuming there was no overlap between the “Jews Against Obama” groups AND the “Jews for McCain” group, that would still put McCain Jews on Facebook at just 28%.

Besides, what is point of going negative and having “against” groups? People need to stay positive. It’s all about positive energy!

Good Sunday. It is with utmost pleasure and relief that I inform y’all that this blog finally has a name. In my commencement post, I wrote that the Bris would the following week. And the baby is always named by the Bris. Unless of course the baby is a girl, when the naming ceremony occurs at the first Torah reading after the birth.

So why then did it take three weeks for this blog to be named? Simple; the blog looked a bit yellow!

The name of this blog is Doaks. Doaks is an abbreviation for the full name: Death of a Kippah Salesman. For over an hour, I debated with myself whether Doaks would be short for: Death of a Kippah Salesman, OR, Dirth of a Kippah Salesman. Death of a Kippah Salesman ended up winning by 1/100th of a second. Dirth of a Kippah Salesman got the Silver, which in blog naming races, means absolutely nothing.

And so, for the first time since inceptions, I officially welcome you to Doaks. Enjoy your stay.

By the time I sat down to read yesterday’s WSJ, it was late in the evening. Time flies when you’re an international Kippah peddler. (I shipped an Obamica to Australia today)

On Wednesday, the Journal took Bush to task for going easy on Putzin. On Thursday, the editorial staff noted the stronger rhetoric emanating from our nations capital.

A few words caught my deficient attention: “We should add that White House officials let us know they were less than delighted — the actual words were a tad more colorful – about our editorial yesterday….”

Wicked! Why didn’t the Journal publish the exact wording of the angry memo? Are they afraid that the White House will cancel their subscription to the Journal? Doesn’t the WSJ realize that President Bush doesn’t read the Journal anyways because there are is no Comics section? Salt and Pepper is their only comic strip.

In other Journal related news, Karl Rove outlined four states that will be key in the coming election. And they are: Virginia, Colorado, Michigan & Ohio. Other competitive states mentioned: Florida, Pennsylvania, Nevada, New Hampshire, Missouri and Wisconsin.

On an ending note; I am itching to discuss the ongoing Russian war. I am a self-made expert in foreign affairs and I am aware of the fact the Georgia being attacked by Russia is the Country and NOT the US state. (My friend in Atlanta told me this for a FACT.) However, I am afraid to bring up this topic in a conversation because I can’t pronounce Tbilisi or Saakashvili. But I do have some good opinions on the matter.

The results for the Kippah Polls are in. I worked them myself on a spread sheet. McCippah has increased the lead to 58%. The Obamica is at 42%.

Why has the McCain Kippah taken a substantial lead? A few possible reasons:

1. An article on the Jewish Week site informed the Jewish world about McCain winning in the Kippah Wars. And people have a natural tendency to root for a “winner”. Then again, others, myself included, enjoy cheering for the underdog.

2. I strongly believe that the political pendulum swung in favor of McCain during the past week. The Georgia/Russia thing is a foreign policy issue, a strong advantage for McCain as it has nothing to do with Iraq and more to do with experience. It also helps that Obama has been on vacation all week, while McCain is writing “We Are All Georgians” op-eds for the Journal.

3. The John Edwards scandal is taking its toll on the polls.