DOAKS

A confession; I like the TV show Family Guy. I don’t watch it on TV. Instead, I rely on the web paradise that is Hulu.com.

It’s cool that celebs have been photographed wearing Yarmulkes.

Even cooler when a fictional character from a cartoon dances at a Jewish wedding wearing a Kippah. In a recent episode of Family Guy, Stewie Griffin did just that!

See pics below. This was the same episode where the Nazi soldier has a McCain/Palin button on his uniform. Clip.

David Blaine is hanging. Nothing to be alarmed about. He did this on his own. Blaine is Jewish. In fact, he even has a tattoo with the Auschwitz number of author Primo Levi.

Anyways, I just wanted to say that it’s good Blaine is not wearing a Yarmulke during his most recent stunt. Why? Because it would undoubtedly fall off his head, whilst being suspended upside down. (That’s why I haven’t performed this stunt myself!)

Even if he’d secure the Kippah with magnets, it would be a distraction. Naysayers would use this as further evidence that he is cheating. And perhaps the Kippahs would get a bad rap….

In a future post, I will elaborate on the various methods to getting a Kippah to stay on ones head.

Btw, with Blaine’s extreme tolerance for pain, I wouldn’t be surprised if he gives Orthodox Judaism a shot…

This past weekend there was a bloggers conference in Las Vegas. The venue is called the “Blog World Expo“.

While I did not make it out there, some of my Kippahs were in attendance.

In fact, the Yarmulkes were part of a panel and were even featured on the big screen.

Take a look at this photo:

That’s Mike Allen wearing the McCippah and Tim Jones sporting the Cindy McCain Kippah. Hawt!

Both look very handsome in their Kippahs.

What were the Kippahs doing in Vegas? Why, they were there for their honeymoon! FYI, blonde Kippahs have WAY more fun.

VanityKippah was a part of the discussion and presentation. You can read more here.

Vegas is a crazy place. Lots of people go there to party. I am happy to report that the Kippahs behaved themselves. Yes; the Yarmulkes played some slots. And then went disco dancing with an Elvis imprersonator.

But all in all, their conduct was more than acceptable by Vegas standards.

Big news for all visitors to Doaks. I am breaking out with pimples all over my face. Not sure why? Maybe it’s all those taco chips and salsa. Maybe it’s the launch of my latest Kippah. Whatever the case, it’s annoying as all hell.

So, the Sarah Palin Lipstick Kippah has arrived. Link. I struggled with the naming of this one.

The BarraKippah; that didn’t fly because it has the name “Barack”. You NEVER, EVER want to have a Kippah that sends mixed signals. That’s what caused the Bay of Pigs.

The Lipsticka: it didn’t roll off the tongue the way a Yarmulke name ought to.

The AlasKap: Don’t even go there. It was barely a fleeting thought.

I interrupt the turbulent flow of this post to inform you that I have successfully punctured a rogue zit on my right cheek. You see, the surge IS working!

Here’s a few pics of the Kippahs. Front and back. FYI, this Yarmulke in particular was not comfortable at first having its hind quarters photographed. However, after much coaxing and wheedling, I was able to persuade the Kippah to proudly display what its mother gave her!

Btw, here’s the final line of the product description: No earmarks were requested for the creation of this Yarmulke.

Good weekend. Whatever is left of it. I jogged around the lake this afternoon. And my left knee is hurting me now. It is not easy being in tip-top shape. With a sculpted body. At least that is what I once read in a book…

So, I went to see Burn After Reading. I am willing to watch anything with Brad Pitt and George Clooney, provided it is NOT Ocean Eleven 17. Or any further installment of the Ocean Eleven dynasty. When will it end?

The WSJ did not have a favorable review for BAR. Then again, with the stock/financial market doing so poorly, I take everything from Wall Street with a grain of salt. For the occasion, I wore my Cindy McCippah. My Kippah was not heckled even once during the film.

Things you need to know about the experience:
1) I bought a package of Twizzlers at the concession stand. The only candy with an OU
2) The theater was FULL. This was an early Sunday evening showing. Impressive.
3) Everyone in attendance was between the ages of 20-35.
4) There was lots of laughter in middle of the movie
5) The city of Seattle had a small cameo in BAR. And the theater erupted in a rather tame applause for our city

BAR runs for 96 minutes and even that felt too long! John Malkovitch was outstanding. Personally, I enjoyed Vicky Cristina Barcelona a lot more. This was no Fargo. No Big Lebowski either.

It was great to see Sledge Hammer in Burn After Reading! Sledge Hammer was an awesome TV show starring David Rasche. Rasche is a funny, funny man and IMO, should have been given more of an opportunity to showcase his comedic talents.

The end.

Here’s a few Sledge Hammer Clips a rolled into one:

Last week at the RNC, the McCippahs were the hot item. Judy Davidson captured a bunch of wicked pics, of famous people with the John McCain Kippah.

Here they are!

Former US Ambassador to the UN, John Bolton

This guy is an ambassador to the Vatican. Kid you not! And guess who wants a white McCain Kippah? It’s a secret!

Actor Jon Voight. Angelina Jolie’s father holding a McCippah!

Mitt Romney, former presidential candidate AND governor of MA. With Judy!

Actor Stephen Baldwin

Five for Fighting singer/songwriter John Ondrasik.

P.S. Here’s a pic of Al Sharpton with his McCippah!

P.P.S. Here’s a gallery of Presidents In Kippahs.

Truth be told, had I not just watched the blooper reel of The Office, I would probably still be in a cagey mood. But no. I watched it. And laughed. All better now.

Last week, everyone was “hocking” me to create Sarah Palin Kippahs. FYI, “hocking” means “banging” in Yiddish, i.e. driving me nuts. Very similar to the term “hacking to death”. Depending on the who the “hocker” is, sometimes I’d prefer being hacked.

To further explain the Yiddish word “hock”; if Sarah Palin would call your cell fifty times in thirty-minutes, she’d be a “hocking” hockey mom. More on the significance of term “hocking” in a later post. Perhaps. Maybe. If you “hock” me…

Anyways, I created the first lady Kippah collection. A Cindy McCippah for Cindy McCain and a Michelle Obamica for Michelle Obama. Notice they cost LESS than the Obamica and McCippah. Why? Because women still make less than men. Excluding myself from men, since women, I hope are making more money at their jobs that I am generating with this shmateh venture. In solidarity to women, the female kippahs are priced lower.

On a side note, I also feel they will not sell as well. So I priced them lower.

What about a Sarah Palin Kippah? Well, it caught me off guard. I had already printed up 50,000 Joe Lieberman Yarmulkes. Damn you Republican party. Only kidding. Maybe I will make one for Sarah.

Good Tuesday! Do I seem giddy? Because I am. The sun is wrestling with the clouds here in Seattle. And after three rounds, the sun is still standing strong. Though bleeding a bit from the nose.

Previously, I blogged about the Kippah as a crime accessory. It’s never a pleasant sight to see a Kippah associated with no good. Last weekend, the Journal ran an article The Rabbi, the Do-Gooder, The Lost $100 Million. It was about a guy who used religion to bilk a close-knit community…out of a whole lot of milk-money.

Always a shame. Remember, the clothing does not make the man. A perfect example; if someone is wearing a police officer uniform, it does mean that automatically this person is fond of donuts.

Just because someone wears a Yarmulke, does not mean this person is religious. There is a biblical commandment “don’t steal”. The Bible never mentions anything about a Kippah.

In fact, there are plenty of religious Jewish men who do not wear Kippahs. And obviously, plenty who do wear Yarmulkes, who are not….

Because I am in the Kippah industry, I need to be EXTRA careful with my products. That is why, before I ship a Kippah to a customer, I ensure that there’s no traces of drugs on the Kippah and no visible signs of ANY tattoo or piercings on the Yarmulke.

Here’s the Jack Abramoff Kippah:

Meet my friend Jim Kukral. We’re old buddies and former revenews bloggers. In fact, it was Jim that first granted me the opportunity to blog for the site. For free. It got me started on the whole blogging scene.

Jim K., a web marketing maven, was cool enough to do a Daily Flip video about vanitykippah.com. The clip is very funny because here you have a self-described Catholic discussing a Kippah venture.

Not sure if Jim even remembers this; back in day, when I hit my 100th post on Revenews, JK wrote a congratulatory post: Shmuly Turns 100, Alert The Media & Lock Your Doors.

After graciously referring to me as the guy with cream cheese smudged in his beard, Jim had this to say: “From his first post which came in the form of a riddle, to classic link-bait headlines like ‘Is Walmart on Crack?‘, to 98 more diatribes that could have only been inspired by boredome or a suction-cup tight fitting yamaka.”