DOAKS

This past weekend there was a bloggers conference in Las Vegas. The venue is called the “Blog World Expo“.

While I did not make it out there, some of my Kippahs were in attendance.

In fact, the Yarmulkes were part of a panel and were even featured on the big screen.

Take a look at this photo:

That’s Mike Allen wearing the McCippah and Tim Jones sporting the Cindy McCain Kippah. Hawt!

Both look very handsome in their Kippahs.

What were the Kippahs doing in Vegas? Why, they were there for their honeymoon! FYI, blonde Kippahs have WAY more fun.

VanityKippah was a part of the discussion and presentation. You can read more here.

Vegas is a crazy place. Lots of people go there to party. I am happy to report that the Kippahs behaved themselves. Yes; the Yarmulkes played some slots. And then went disco dancing with an Elvis imprersonator.

But all in all, their conduct was more than acceptable by Vegas standards.

Move aside Keystone Cops. Here comes the Kippah cops. My friend sent this to me. He spotted this on bangitout, which got it from the NY Post.

To translate this evolution in biblical terms: and the NY Post beget the Orthodox Cops, which beget the bangitout post, which beget the email from my friend Yossi, which beget this post.

When was the last time you saw a cop wearing a Yarmulke? I’m not talking about SWAT team or Secret Service. We’re talking the police! The article is great.

Btw, Bangitout titled the post: The Real Yiddish Policemen’s Union. That’s a reference to the book written by Michael Chabon. Which I read. And did not like. It wasn’t funny. There was no depth to the characters. The book felt like it was going on forever.

Chabon also wrote The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, which I loved. That’s why the Yiddish Policemen’s Union was such a disappointment.

Another week. Another poll result. Last week, we introduced the Kippak Poll. This week, we have the second installment.

To date, the McCain Kippah, the McCippah is outselling the Obamica, the Barack Obama Kippah, 52% to 48%.

Does this mean anything? I have no idea. A few possible explanations for the McCippah lead can be found here.

What do you think? Does this shed any light on the Jewish vote?

Next week, I will break things down by male and female orders. Maybe even throw in some data on conversion rates and page views.

In light of the recent JFAQ success, I have chosen to take the FAQ’s to the next level. To a whole ‘nother level.

Here are the most frequently asked questions posed by the philosopher to the proprietor of VanityKippah:

Questions in bold. Responses in italics.

Are you sitting or standing at the moment?
Sitting. In a coffee shop.

Good. My questions will require intensive thought.
Got it. Shoot.

As the owner of this Kippah venture, I will begin by asking you a classic question in Kippah think-tank discussion; if a Kippah would fall in the forest when nobody is around, would there be a sound?
No. The Kippah is composed of leather material and it weighs about an ounce. I can’t imagine the impact causing a sound. Especially on the soft grounds of the forest.

What came first, the Kippah or the Kippot?
Well, Kippot is merely the plural version of the word Kippah. Like the words goose and geese.

Would we then be able to deduce that what is good for the Kippah is good for the gander?
Absolutely.

Theoretically, if a Kippah could engage in an arm wrestle with a Crucifix, who would win?
That question is not politically correct and I prefer to remain mum on this topic.

Is that because you think the Kippah would win and you are thus fearful that an honest answer could potential incite a rash bout of anti-Antisemitism?
Mum is the word.

Or, do you think the crucifix would be the victor and replying so would render you a self-hating Jew and lead to your ouster from the Jewish community?
Maybe.

Ah. I am enjoying this dialogue immensely. If an airplane of Kippot crashed on the border of the United States and Canada, where would they bury the survivors?
In a post 9/11 world, it would depend 100% on the citizenship AND work status of the Kippot.

Wrong. You don’t bury the surviving Kippahs!
That question was deliberately misleading. Please do not insult my non-philosophical intelligence. I am a busy man running a Kippah empire. Thank you very much.